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Jokes

caedmon Administrator Posts: 171 Musician: Retired Guitarist	Jokes Nov 6, 2017 20:00:42 GMT siomha likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by caedmon on Nov 6, 2017 20:00:42 GMT Why did the tomato blush? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}They saw the salad dressing.
	*♫ ♭ Generally music feedeth that disposition of the spirits which it findeth* ♩ ♬**

siomha Administrator Posts: 161 Musician: Bassist	Jokes Nov 9, 2017 22:57:16 GMT caedmon likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by siomha on Nov 9, 2017 22:57:16 GMT Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem? Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.
	*Inspiration for my music just comes from, you know, my life experiences.*

siomha Administrator Posts: 161 Musician: Bassist	Jokes Nov 23, 2017 21:49:50 GMT caedmon likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by siomha on Nov 23, 2017 21:49:50 GMT What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}I have no idea but I wouldn't try milking it.
	*Inspiration for my music just comes from, you know, my life experiences.*

leine Global Moderator Posts: 196	Jokes Jul 29, 2018 9:57:00 GMT eaghan likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by leine on Jul 29, 2018 9:57:00 GMT Did you hear about the Italian chef who died recently? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}He Pasta way
	*I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.*

eaghan Global Moderator Posts: 33	Jokes Sept 18, 2018 12:25:47 GMT leine likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by eaghan on Sept 18, 2018 12:25:47 GMT How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Nobody knows, it’s never been done before.
	*The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.*

tacincala Global Moderator Posts: 194 Musician: Roadie	Jokes Sept 18, 2018 13:33:32 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by tacincala on Sept 18, 2018 13:33:32 GMT What's the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}A guy will actually search for a bottle of Jack Daniels.
	*Where hope grows, miracles blossom.*

poseidon Global Moderator Posts: 33	Jokes Oct 10, 2018 20:57:36 GMT nitika likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by poseidon on Oct 10, 2018 20:57:36 GMT How do you catch Chip and Dale? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
	*No one wants advice - only corroboration.*

hecate Global Moderator Posts: 170	Jokes Jan 21, 2019 17:08:40 GMT angwen likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by hecate on Jan 21, 2019 17:08:40 GMT How do you get a sweet 80 year old lady to say the F word? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}When another sweet 80 year old lady beside her yells Bingo!
	*The highest wisdom is loving kindness.*

braeden Global Moderator Posts: 34	Jokes Dec 13, 2019 22:34:18 GMT aderyn likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by braeden on Dec 13, 2019 22:34:18 GMT What is the worst combination in illnesses? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Alzheimer's and diarrhea. You're running, but can't remember where.
	*Imagination is more important than knowledge.*

kiera Global Moderator Posts: 193	Jokes Jan 17, 2020 11:23:04 GMT ruadh likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by kiera on Jan 17, 2020 11:23:04 GMT How do you confuse a male archeologist? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from!
	*Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain.*

vortigern Global Moderator Posts: 146 Musician: Mandolinist	Jokes Jan 17, 2020 13:32:54 GMT brianna likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by vortigern on Jan 17, 2020 13:32:54 GMT When should you buy a bird? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}When it's going cheep.
	*My music is best understood by children and animals.*

aderyn Global Moderator Posts: 195	Jokes Jan 22, 2020 20:10:17 GMT braeden likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by aderyn on Jan 22, 2020 20:10:17 GMT The inventor for throat lozengers died. SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}They'll be no coffin at his funeral.
	*To perceive is to suffer.*

brianna Global Moderator Posts: 32 Musician: Vocalist	Jokes Jan 22, 2020 21:52:53 GMT vortigern likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by brianna on Jan 22, 2020 21:52:53 GMT
	*If music be the food of love, play on.*

angwen Global Moderator Posts: 31	Jokes Jan 23, 2020 22:25:47 GMT hecate likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by angwen on Jan 23, 2020 22:25:47 GMT Barman asks Paddy: "Your glass is empty, fancy another one?" SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Paddy looking puzzled, asks: "Why the hell do I want two empty glasses?"
	*Adversity and loss make a man wise.*

nitika Global Moderator Posts: 206	Jokes Jan 25, 2020 17:29:45 GMT poseidon likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by nitika on Jan 25, 2020 17:29:45 GMT The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}They charged one and let the other one off.
	*You cannot walk straight when the road is bent.*